I’m going through some personal problems at the moment, and it’s made me deeply realise how tenuous and fragile my practice is.

It’s so easy to fall back into old patterns.  

I’ve been able to feel myself fully consumed in this current challenge.  And yet I haven’t been able to step away from it.  

Although I am grateful that at least this time I can recognise how fully “caught” I am.  Which is a huge step in the right direction.

Because to acknowledge it means that I can do something about it.

And tonight I’ve realised what is causing a great deal of my suffering – apart from actually fighting against it, and the pain I am feeling, I am also fighting against acceptance.

I’ve come to realise that when we are facing a problem, we have two choices: accept what is happening, and look for the positive.  Or fight against it, and decide not to accept it – and be miserable.

So I am choosing acceptance.  

And I’m choosing to see the lessons that are available for me to learn from this.

Love & blessings to you all

Everyday I’m sufferin’

In recent times I have tried to change my attitude towards events in my life that would have previously made me very stressed and tense.

It’s taken me a long time, but I’ve finally come to accept that things that happen are neither good or bad, they just “are”.  

By attaching a “this is a catastrophe” label, I am only increasing the stress and suffering for myself.

The first time I really noticed the shift in my attitude was about 12 months ago.

Every 12 months I have to go into the hospital to have test and biopsies done.  

This used to cause me enormous stress.  I would become increasingly anxious for days leading up to it.  I would stop eating, and sleeping.  I would cry throughout the entire procedure.  It left me feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally, for days afterwards.

Last year the hospital visit occurred 3 months after my marriage fell apart.

This time I was so focused on other things, and had so much on my mind, that the hospital visit barely even registered.

And I realised afterwards – the event itself was exactly the same.  Day in hospital, biopsies, results, then home.  However my attitude towards it was MUCH different.  

I just did it.

And the stress to myself that time was non-existent.

The events in our lives are going to happen whether we attach extra suffering and layers to them, or simply approach them calmly.  However the difference between these two options – to ourselves and our wellbeing – is huge.

Now I try not to attach labels, or levels, of “good”, “bad”, or “neutral” to life’s events.

I have a choice.

And I choice to be peaceful and happy.

And I am not going to allow events in my life – or rather my reaction to them – to take away from that happiness ♥



“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ Haruki Murakami

I stop for suffering

It may be the name of my blog, however I really do stop for suffering.

I really care about people, and am passionate about helping them, and easing their suffering.

So friends, grab a cup of tea (or coffee if you prefer), and tell me…

How are you?

What’s on your mind?

What are you grateful for today?

Or struggling with?


Spread love everywhere you go:

First of all in your own house …
kindness in your face,
kindness in your eyes,
kindness in your smile,
~ Mother Teresa –

Love is all you need

Special thanks to derekcheyyim for the suggestion for today’s post 🙂

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared” ~ The Buddha

Among all the helpful emotions developed on the Buddhist path, love is perhaps one of the most important.

It helps to ensure that a person’s spiritual life is based on healthy and open relationships with the people around them, and with other forms of life.

It also creates the right inner conditions for the heart to relax and be at peace.

It is usually easy to have kind and loving feels towards those people that we love – our friends and family.  Focusing on developing those feelings towards the people you care about is an important basis for developing a loving kindness practice.

The stronger the foundation of our loving-kindness practice is, the easier it is to expand our loving-kindness practice to those people towards whom we would not normally feel kindness.   The ultimate goal in developing a loving-kindness practice is to feel the same level of goodwill, love, friendliness, and acceptance towards everyone – friends and strangers alike.

The sense of “self” and “other” will fall away, and be replaced by an extensive feeling of open heartedness.

Here are some of my favourite tips for strengthening loving-kindness:

  • Practice loving=kindness meditation.  Here is a great resource to find out more
  • Be a good listener.  Listen fully and openly without thinking about what you are going to say next, or trying to offer advice or a solution
  • Smile at everyone
  • Practice random acts of kindness (RAOK’s)
  • Cook a meal for family of friends
  • Call or visit someone who is sick
  • Tell someone you appreciate them
  • Pass on feedback if you receive good customer service – let the person’s manager know
  • Be generous with compliments
  • Be positive
  • Share inspirational quotes
  • Be grateful for what you have
  • Treat everyone equally and with respect
And my favourite:
  • Act on feelings of warmth and compassion.  Don’t be afraid to express feelings of kindness and goodwill.

I am really excited about developing my own loving-kindness practice.

I have only recently started focusing on it intensively, and practising loving kindness-meditation as well.  However I can already feel a huge difference.

A real sense of an opening and softening of my heart, and a very deep desire to help people, and to ease their suffering.

It’s such a beautiful feeling ♥

May you be happy

May you be safe

May you be healthy

May you be peaceful