Exactly this time, exactly 4 weeks ago life fell apart.
It was this time exactly that I got a call from my Dad, crying. Life will never be the same.
I was sitting in my car doing school pick up at the time. And here I sit again – same car park – same sort of day. But now living a completely different life. As a different person.
I’ve tried to keep busy with work. And really with my position and the workload I don’t have to try hard. 14 hour work days are pretty good like that.
And I’ve tried to concentrate on helping other people who are also suffering – I’m certainly not the only one going through a hard time.
And my family have all tried to create new “mum-less” lives.
I see Dad all the time now. He rings me and texts me constantly. Anytime he normally would have said something to her, he contacts me instead. And every morning when I normally would have rung Mum, I rang him instead for a chat.
My BFF and I laughed on Saturday when he rang me – while I was at parkrun – to have an indepth conversation with me about how to hang up his pants so they don’t get peg lines.
I’m forever grateful for that increased bond between us.
But I miss her. I miss talking to her and telling her all my problems lol. I miss the sound of her voice. I hate that I’ll never see her again. It’s funny how easy it is to forget that.
It’s so final. Never again.
I’m sitting in the car crying heavily and talking out loud to her. I wonder if she knows how dreadfully I miss her. And how much I wish I could call her and tell her – “Mum you’ll never believe what’s happened the last 4 weeks!”.
And to debrief with her like I normally would.
There’s such a void left without her ❤