Today is day 2 of a world without my Mum.
I’m not sure how to feel about how I feel today.
I felt like I saw a sign from my Mum this morning.
I’d woken up through the night needing to go to the bathroom. Not unusual but I must have been sound asleep because it took me a while to wake up. After that I wandered out into the kitchen to get some painkillers, let my neighbours cat out of my house (long story lol), and get a drink. I thought to check the time…. and it was dead on 2:30am.
2:30am…. the exact time my mother passed away 24 hours before. Not a huge coincidence I know, but I felt like it was her way of saying hello to me.
Anyway after getting some sleep last night I felt a bit more human today.
And I was blessed with so much kindness and love today.
I stopped at my local coffee shop and was once again shown so much kindness and love by the two girls that work in there. I then went to the supermarket to buy them flowers (to say thank you), and told the lady there about my Mum passing. She gave me the biggest hug, and shared her own story with me about the loss of her husband 7 years earlier. I was really touched to share that intimate moment with her.
More hugs were given as I gave the coffee shop girls their flowers. And another lady I know from the community came in and gave me hugs and support.
And I was able to work somewhat effectively today. I spoke to my boss 8 times (I think he’s missed me lol). We have a great banter and shared quite a few laughs over the course of the day. That was also a blessing.
I shared memories of Mum with my Dad, and photos of her.
I was given 2 bunches of flowers, and a beautiful beautiful sympathy card. A friend dropped in with one of those bunches of flowers and gave me more hugs.
I feel very weary, today but strangely calm and at peace.
It’s only been 41 hours but I’m able to think of my Mum fondly and speak of her without dissolving into tears. And I’m worried about what that says about me? Maybe it’s part of the process. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be a mess again. Or maybe I’ve cried so much over the past week that I have no more tears left.
But maybe being strong (for my Dad and brother) is what my Mum would want ♥