At 2:30am today, Wednesday 21st June, my Mum passed away.
It was the final chapter in an extremely difficult 7 days.
I’m beyond devastated. She died a horrible death, and she suffered greatly. As did we all.
But I can also see the blessings.
The one thing that has really stood out to me in this last week is the willingness of my friends to offer sincere and heartfelt sympathy. I’ve been so humbled by that. I’ve received so many offers of help – from close friends through to people I’ve just had the pleasure of meeting recently.
It’s touched me deeply. And it’s made the most enormous difference to feel that people care and are there to help me.
I’ve been so changed by this whole experience. But by that in particular. Just the difference that heartfelt support and kindness can make in times of extreme grief and suffering.
I also just feel very blessed by the people I have in my life now. I know in my heart I was meant to meet these people when I did and to have them around me at this time.
I’m so grateful too that my Mum died seeing me in a good place. That was always a fear of mine – that my parents would pass away before seeing me with my “crap together”.
I’m also immensely grateful I was able to say goodbye to her properly. A lot of people don’t have that opportunity. There was nothing that I didn’t say that I wished I had.
And perhaps the greatest blessing of all…
The final time I walked away I wasn’t crying, I was laughing. Mum was looking good, breathing on her own, and said to me – without the tube and using her own voice – that she loved me. And I walked away smiling.
It was meant to happen that way ♥