It’s now 8 months since my partner and I got back together.
I never thought that it would be possible to “have a break”and yet come back together so perfectly.
It’s utterly heartbreaking to split with someone – but when you do you get a very honest and open and REAL idea of who they really are.
Are they vengeful? Nasty? Spiteful? Or maybe even worse … ambivalent?
It took going through that with my partner to get a better idea of who he really was.
We’d been together for 2 years, but I’d never really allowed myself to open fully. I didn’t realise that at the time. I knew that I was guarded. After getting to 36yo and having been through a divorce, and then increasingly awful relationships afterwards it’s hard not to be.
You do question “why am I so unlovable?”
When I met Mr ISFS I never wanted to create conflict. Which meant basically I was a doormat. If I was upset I said nothing. If I wanted something I said nothing. I was scared if I wasn’t “perfect” that he would be just another one who left me.
As issues arose and festered we didn’t communicate… and it lead to everything falling apart.
After we split though we were both raw and open and honest with each other.
I saw that ultimately all he cared about was me.
And he never stopped caring during that time – he just wanted to look after me.
The dynamics are completely different now.
Yes issues are going to arise and need to be worked through. But I’m on longer scared to have an opinion and to voice it. If something upsets me I call him on it.
I’m not scared to do it any longer because I KNOW now with all my heart that we are in it together forever.
I’ve learnt a lot from going through this experience (which I’ll discuss more in future blog posts), however the biggest lesson I learnt was to just be open. It’s scary, and you have to take a chance and be vulnerable. But you cannot have a truly meaningful relationship without it.
I still am grateful every moment of every single day that we got back together and we made it work.
And in June of this year we cemented it by getting engaged ♥