Meg vs Facebook

I decided on Friday night to deactivate my Facebook.

That sentence above is HUGE for me.  It should probably come with its own sound effects and lighting.

For 8 years I have more or less lived my life through Facebook.  I would spend hours each day trawling through posts, liking and commenting and sharing my own story.  I tried to use it to make the world a better place as much as I could.  And I used to joke (although it wasn’t joking) that I would rather remove my own leg than deactivate my Facebook.

So what changed?

I guess that I did.

It has been building for a while.  I can recognise my own failings when it comes to Facebook.  I’m too open.  By nature I am a ‘sharer’.  I bare my heart and soul and in doing so allow I invite others into my life.  And sometimes that’s a mistake.

I’m also highly sensitive, and the behaviour of people I considered friends really hurt me.

One particular person I considered a friend used to vaguebook about me constantly – posting passive aggressive attacks aimed at me, but without the courage to talk to me directly. Mostly because the image/story she’d created about her life and partner was at risk.  And eventually the truth did come out – as it always does – and she didn’t want to face it so she blocked me.

It was this example of the world of Facebook that was really the last straw for me.  It can be such a fake world.  People hiding behind their keyboards attacking others, whist trying to portray a certain image (created) of their own lives.

It’s been a wonderful learning experience for me to walk away from it.

I’m no longer tied to my phone.  It creeps up on you how pervasive Facebook can be.  So many hours spent living in other people’s lives and not in your own.

It hasn’t been smooth sailing though – after 8 years it’s been so much a part of my daily routine.  I’m finding myself absent-mindedly picking up my phone to get my “fix” and then feeling somewhat lost that it doesn’t exist anymore.

But since I walked away the world has opened up for me.

I’m actually reaching out to people in the analog world, and building on those friendships that are important to me.

I’m spending quality time with people without one eye on Facebook.

The other night I sat with Mr ISFS curled up in his arms reading a book, and it was pure bliss.

All that matters to me is Mr ISFS and my family.  They are my world.  Mr ISFS himself used to have Facebook, but walked away from it several years ago without looking back.  I always admired his strength, and now that I have done it myself I can totally understand why he did it.

And in some ways walking away from Facebook is also an act of solidarity with him.

He will always be the most important person to me ♥

 

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Change, growth and balance

I saw this photo this morning, and I suddenly realised that this describes me perfectly.

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It’s so far removed from the person I used to be.

I woke up at 2am this morning with this same thought on my mind.  It occurred to me very suddenly that I have changed so much.

Because I have Mr ISFS and I am so utterly content, I have been free to grow and develop as a person.  It’s the first time in my life that I’ve felt completely settled and at peace.  And I’ve really grown into my own skin.

I realised I am now the lion.

I don’t want to lose touch though with those qualities of compassion and empathy that I value so highly and feel so strongly.  So I am tempering my new strength with staying true to my heart.

It’s Mr ISFS and I against the world ♥

Anniversary

My blog post today is dedicated to my wonderful friend Kate.

Facebook reminded me today it’s 1 year since we became friends.  I’m so grateful to all of the people I am blessed to call friends, but I am especially grateful for Kate’s friendship.

We met at Parkrun 12 months ago, and have shared so many runs, laughs, jokes, and memories since then ♥

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I think I am particularly lucky to be able to count Kate as a friend due to our large age gap.

However I may be more than twice Kate’s age, but she is at least twice as sensible.

I am constantly in awe of Kate’s intelligence, maturity, confidence, self-worth and wit.  On so many occasions she has given me fantastic advice on life, and when I grow up I want to be just like her :p

Thank you Kate for being my friend 🙂

 

Zen and the art of domesticity

There’s so much happiness to be found in domesticity (for me at least).

Growing up I was never ambitious.  I never wanted to have a career, or study.  I just wanted to look after my family.  I had dreams of living in a country area, having lots of kids, and cooking/baking everything from scratch.  The whole cliché of bein g in a farmhouse kitchen, wearing an apron, making bread, collecting eggs from my own hens.

That life didn’t eventuate (although I still have dreams of it).

But my heartfelt desires still remain the same.

I’ve decided that every Sunday is going to be a housekeeping day for me.  A day of preparing for the week ahead.  Grocery shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning and general organisation.

Mr ISFS and I have dreams of owning our own house one day soon, so we are trying very hard to budget and live frugally.

Today I firstly put together a menu plan for the week, based largely on the fact I can now make my own noodles.

Then I went grocery shopping.  I went to our local “asian mecca” and bought lots of lovely quality asian greens, and bones to make broth.

Once I got home I started cooking for the week ahead.  I made 3 different batches of noodles.  I made beef chow mein for Mr ISFS’s lunch for the next few days.  I made a banana bread using up overripe bananas I had.  I made taco mince for Master ISFS who has very distinct ideas about what he will and won’t eat for dinner.  I cooked spicy pork mince ready for ramen I will make tomorrow night.

In a nutshell I cooked, I baked, I cleaned, and I washed clothes.

And it was one of the best days I have had in a long time.

I felt such a great sense of satisfaction – I achieved so much today for my little family.  I feel proud that we are well organised for the work week ahead.  And most importantly I have saved us lots of money by cooking everything from scratch – plus it’s much healthier!

It’s days like that that make me truly thankful ♥