How much fun can we have in this lifetime?
This is something I believe passionately with my whole heart – that life is all about having fun and enjoying every moment to the absolute fullest.
Life is also about learning – and it’s a constant learning. From each experience, each encounter, good and bad. Each relationship that doesn’t work, each friendship that dissolves.
I used to struggle being happy on my own, and had expectations when it came to meeting someone else and finding my happiness with them.
As I’ve continued on my journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, I found the perfect idea of myself and a partner to be a myth. And it was disconcerting to turn the attention inward, rather than continue focusing outward in the hope of someone filling up emptiness that clearly wasn’t meant for him.
I’ve come to understand that I need to appreciate things as they are and find my own happiness in each moment. I am developing a connection with how short life is and am no longer feeling sorry for the relationships I endured and the ones I couldn’t make work.
For me the lessons I am coming to learn are:
Two people who are comfortable in their own skin individually can together play on the same team.
Confidence and stability in ourselves can keep insecurities in check. When insecurities do arise, having the confidence to admit it and not fear rejection is huge. Also not expecting our partner to fix it and practicing mindfulness is the key.
Who wouldn’t want a relationship where we have our best friend by our side as we go through this life?
The one we can play and laugh with, explore, be silly, love, share, support and optimally, treat each other with that deep regard, the respect and kindness we each deserve?
It’s what gets us through the dark times, and makes the happy times truly blissful.
Lose the expectations
True happiness means we’re not relying on someone else to make our day.
It doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t do something to make us feel a sense of appreciation, excitement or passion….it means, that we’re okay whether they’re lighting our fire or something else has their focus.
Each of our worlds doesn’t revolve around what each does or doesn’t do for the other. It’s realistic; it’s not based on a fantasy of how one’s partner is supposed to act and be. It gives freedom so both of us can give and receive fully without expectations.
There’s no pushing or forcing one’s agenda on the other, because we don’t need them to be our bandaid.
Not only do two people who aren’t beating their partner up with their baggage have more passion for each other, but they also share a passion for life.
This type of passion is what keeps us young, looking to learn, seeing the precious, and finding the dark hidden spaces to not be so scary.
And we get to share it with our best friend!
So – how much fun can we have in this lifetime??
Awareness can shift our perception to open us to creating more possibilities (and fun!) within our relationships ♥
* dedicated to my soulmate and best friend Dave *