Everyday Wisdom #37

Just pause

How you speak to others is often reflected as an extension of how you are.

If you are frustrated, or feeling short-tempered, then your tone and words will often reflect this.

Before speaking, it can be very useful to just pause.

Pausing gives you a chance to relax.  To scan your body, and release any tension.  To take a deep breath.  And to speak from a place of calm and peace.

It allows you to make a conscious decision as to what you want to say.

And all this can be done so quickly that the pause is almost imperceptible.

Sometimes you may need more time.  Particularly if you are dealing with a sensitive issue.

And it can be useful to say honestly “let me think about that”.

To give yourself time to breathe, group and refocus.

And therefore give a wiser and more considered response.

 

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce

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11 responses to “Everyday Wisdom #37

  1. »The first drawback of anger is that it destroys your inner peace;
    the second is that it distorts your view of reality.
    If you think about this and come to understand that anger is really unhelpful,
    that it is only destructive,
    you can begin to distance yourself from anger.«

    The Dalai Lama

  2. That is so true! Although I am fortunate that I very very rarely get angry. I struggle in other areas.

  3. A lovely reminder to avoid speaking or acting when the mind is disturbed. An Arabian quote on this says “When you have spoken the word it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it”.. So to ‘Pause’ is wise.

    Many thanks!
    Dilip

  4. such an important reminder…thank you…

  5. This is wise advice … pausing gives us the space to consider what needs to be said and what doesn’t need to be said, saving us from regret.

    • Thank you Mark! :-). This is something I actually use all the time. And so so many times I have reconsidered what I was going to say. Not because I was speaking in anger, but because it didn’t reflect my true intentions.

  6. I have learned that, and putting it into practice. It’s amazing the change it does!

    • That’s so true Nikky!! I use this one all the time, and it’s interesting how often after pausing I reframe what I was going to say. Not because I was speaking out of anger, but more because it wasn’t reflecting my true intentions.

  7. If you hug the person you’re are angry at, or start laughing on something funny,i feel these are the only two ways i can kill my anger….also when we consider it our divine right to get angry and be revengeful, angry we’ll be but we will only be revengeful against ourselves.

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