Everyday Wisdom #32

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time
— M. Scott Peck

 

The cone of silence

Spend one day trying to say as little as possible.

Try to keep the focus away from yourself.  

When you’re tempted to gossip, or tell a story, ask a question instead.

When you’re tempted to say “That’s what happened to me!…”, ask instead “How did that make you feel?”.

Try (within reason) to bring each conversation back to the other person’s opinion, and listen to what they have to tell you.

At the end of the day, make a note of how much you have learned.  About other people.  About life.  About yourself.

How much of this would you have missed if you had spent that time talking about yourself?

 

“Effective questioning brings insight, which fuels curiosity, which cultivates wisdom.”
— Chip Bell

 Image

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About istopforsuffering

A page created to help spread love and kindness and positivity. Dedicated to making this world a better place, and making a difference in people's lives.

8 responses to “Everyday Wisdom #32

  1. Thank you, my dear friend, for this outstanding post. I was just in a meeting yesterday with colleagues and spoke what seemed to me to be an important point, one that I had been deliberating for many months before I finally spoke it aloud. When i spoke, I was told by one of my colleagues that I hadn’t really listened to my other colleagues’ concerns about the matter. And, you know, she was right!

    • Thank you so much for your comment. Are you okay? I hope you weren’t upset, and that it wasn’t said in a mean way? xxx

      • How kind of you to be mindful of my feelings!! I think there was a time (not too long ago) when I would have felt chastised, maybe a little shame. But, when it happened, i simply saw it as a message that had been sent to me from the universe that I needed to pay attention to for my own benefit. I felt no attachment to it other than awareness of the opportunity to learn and grow. And, then your lovely post–synchronicity of messages from the universe, for which I am ever so grateful. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom, friend!

      • I am truly humbled hearing about the way you handled the situation. As an extremely sensitive person, I can at times read criticism into offhand remarks, and fall to pieces if actually directly criticised. Although I would like to think that these days I would handle it a little more wisely and mindfully.

        You have really taught me something. Thank you 🙂

  2. Your sensitivity, my dear friend, is exceeded by your kindness, empathy, and generosity towards others. You are as deserving of it in every circumstance as anyone else. Be kind to yourself when others seem, at first, not to be. Then, the seeming not to be kind will vanish in your mind and reappear as simply a reflection of the universe’s love for you. xoxo

  3. Hello again- this is a great post. I think it is great to encourage oneself to say less in order to learn more. Thank you for this.

  4. This is a wonderful post. I am going to try to put it into practice today. I am very aware that I often “butt in” with my opinions and experiences when what the other person needs is for me to listen to theirs. Your post was a beautifully written reminder, so thank you xxx

    • Thank you so much for reading, and for your comment. I do this too – usually because I am so keen to join in the conversation and share my experience. It’s such a great practice to give someone full attention though. I noticed an additional benefit for myself today. I was feeling quite anxious, and was having trouble focusing on the conversation I was having. But as soon as I gave it my full attention, and took a deep breath, I immediately felt calmer and more able to concentrate. And I know that I was listening better as well.

      Love & blessings,
      Meg

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