It’s been quite on my blog of late.  Life has been hectic, and stressful, and exciting and wonderful.

I just feel so incredibly blessed at the moment.

I wish with all my heart that I could share just one fraction of my happiness with you all.  

Recent events have really renewed my faith in life and happiness – that bad times do eventually pass.  And that true happiness is really possible.

I was lucky enough to meet my soulmate recently.  I wasn’t expecting it would ever happen.  

I’d dedicated my life to helping others, and to increasing their happiness, and easing their suffering.  

However I felt that same happiness was not meant for me.  And I accepted that, and was understanding that this was my life’s work.

And then I met my soulmate.

And it’s the rainbows and butterflies and sunshine that I’d always heard about.  At 36 years old I truly understand what it means to be happy, to be loved, and to be supported.  And vice versa.

I suddenly feel like anything in the world is possible ♥

And it’s renewed my determination to bring happiness to others. 

Much blessings to you all,

Meg

Sometimes we connect really well with people, and other times it feels like something is lacking.

On those occasions where you have trouble connecting – who do you hold responsible?

Chances are, you hold the other person responsible.  Maybe they just aren’t as intelligent as you are.  Or witty.  Or funny.

However, if you are able to meet with every person where they are at.  Whether they are the smartest person or the dimmest.  If you are able to connect with them.  And make them feel seen and heard, then that is the test of real intelligence, more than anything else.

When you meet someone new, instead of thinking “is this person worth my time”, turn it around, and think “How can I connect?  What do they care about?”

Here are some tips to make it easy to connect with absolutely anyone:

1.       Ask open-ended questions

Most people love to talk about themselves, and topics they are passionate about. If you can get them to talk about what they care about, they will usually come alive.

Ask questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no answer.

2.       Ask a follow up question

Show that you are really listening and interested by asking a great follow up question.  Ask questions that ask for more than just information – but for analysis, reflection and engagement.

3.        Watch your body language

Display that you are interested and engaged by your body language.

Lean in, make eye contact, smile and nod (without overdoing it of course).

Non-verbal cues are a huge part of our language.  And show that we are genuinely interested.

4.       Be present, and give presence

The greatest way to make a connection with someone else is to be fully present.  Not thinking about grocery shopping, or your next meeting, or your weekend plans.  But listening fully and openly with interest and respect.

“Connection starts long before the first interaction. Be the guy glowing with passion. Let the people around you feel your fire for the impact you want to have on the world. Prompt others to share what makes them come alive. Share in their excitement. There is no more empowering, genuine way to connect. If you don’t know the impact you dream of making, how will you know who you want in your corner to make it happen?”

Leo Babauta

It’s been quiet lately on my blog as I struggled with a number of personal issues.

As always though I am grateful for the experience.

I feel very tender hearted and “open”.  I am grateful for the chance to continue on my spiritual path.

I’m also reading a truly beautiful book on blessings, which has come at the perfect time in my life.

How are you all?

Heartfelt blessings,
Meg

Today the author – Lindsey – answered some questions about herself.  They were such meaningful questions that I wanted to share my answers.  I would love to hear your answers too!

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Loneliness.  There is something indescribably heart-breaking about facing a tough battle and discovering that you are completely alone.  If I had one wish for the world, it would be that no one would ever feel alone.

Where would you like to live?

I don’t have any specific place – I would make the most of wherever I am.  I think there is always something to experience and appreciate no matter where you are.  And something you can learn, and people you can help.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

Making someone else smile.  Kissing my sleeping little man as I go to bed. A hot cup of tea.  Meditation.  Really connecting with another living being – whether it’s a person or animal.  For me particularly if it’s an animal – it seems like time stops.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

People who have made mistakes that they regret.  I feel an incredible empathy, as everyone makes mistakes, and is entitled to another chance.  

Who are your favourite characters in history?

I’m actually not very knowledge about history – one of my biggest failings I guess.  It’s just something I have never been interested in.

Who are your favourite heroines in real life?

Audrey Hepburn – without a doubt.  She has been my idol for as long as I can remember – she is feminine, and kind, and gentle and classy.  She speaks beautifully and just radiates an innocence.

Your favourite painter?

Van Gough.  My favourite painting of his is Starry Night, closely followed by Starry Night Over the Rhone.

Your favourite musician?

I’m not sure I could narrow it down to one.  My favourites would be:  Chris Martin (from Coldplay), Bono, Jeff Buckley, Paul Simon and Billy Joel.

The qualities you most admire in a man?

Kindness, humour, the ability to make me feel safe and cared for, and a sense of fun.

The qualities you most admire in a woman?

Independence, Elegance, Softness.

Your favourite virtue?

Honesty, Integrity, Compassion.

Your favourite occupation?

A carer or therapist.

Who would you have liked to be?

A Buddhist Nun.  Failing that, I would have liked to have had a very simple, and honest life as a housewife/mother.  Raising children, looking after my partner, and volunteering in the community.

I would LOVE to hear you answers to these questions.

Blessings,

Meg

It amazes and humbles me the wonderful people that are out there in this world.  It certainly gives me great faith in humanity when I read stories like this:

A Writer, a Plumber and a Plan to Save the Planet

Aabid Surti is an odd character. A few years ago, the angular, bearded author was invited to meet the President of India to receive a national award for literature at a ceremony in the capital, New Delhi. He politely declined. Absorbed in writing the first draft of his new novel, he cited the reason that he did not have time. But what he has made time for every Sunday for seven years now, is going door-to-door in Mira Road, a non-descript suburb of Mumbai, with a plumber in tow, asking residents if they need their tap fixed for free!

In 2007, he was sitting in a friend’s house and noticed a leaky tap. It bothered him. When he pointed it out, his friend, like others, dismissed it casually: it was too expensive and inconvenient to call a plumber for such a minor job – even plumbers resisted coming to only replace old gaskets.

A few days later, he came across a statistic in the newspaper: a tap that drips once every second wastes a thousand litres of water in a month. That triggered an idea. He would take a plumber from door to door and fix taps for free – one apartment complex every weekend.

To read the full story, click here.

I was giving this question some thought today after listening to another Gil Fronsdal dharma talk.

In it he discusses the “4 requisites” which is what all humans need to feel safe and healthy.  And those 4 requisites are:  enough food to live, shelter, adequate clothing, and medicine.

These 4 requisites can be met quite simply.  They key though is what becomes important after these basics are met.

Is it important to you to get a bigger house?  A better car?  A more important job?

Personally I believe that once these basic needs are met, there are 2 important factors to build our lives on – caring for others, and caring for ourselves.

By focusing on our own egos and trying to pursue “more” and “greater” we are just leading ourselves to greater disharmony.  Whereas by concentrating on others, and others happiness, we inadvertently find our own happiness.

And it’s a happiness as a result of a life of service and selflessness.

There is so much good we can do in the world, by living a life of kindness and compassion.  

Once our basic needs are met, and we are safe and healthy, I believe it’s time to start giving ourselves to helping others, and making a difference in the world.

Jessie Rees was diagnosed with an inoperable and incurable brain tumor at age 11. As part of an outpatient clinical trial, she was asked to undergo 30 days of radiation and chemotherapy. When she found out that some of the kids in the cancer ward did not get to go home everyday, she decided to do something to cheer them up and give them hope, and Jessie’s Joy Jars was born. Before Jessie died a little over 10 months later, she had distributed 3,000 Joy Jars. The Foundation set up in her name has continued her wish and has distributed more than 50,000 Joy Jars to children all over the world.

I’m acutely aware of the suffering around me at the moment.  I don’t know why, but many people seem to be having a hard time, and are not themselves.

It’s at these times that sharing love and kindness and compassion is even more important.

Who can you reach out to today?

It doesn’t take much.  A smile.  A hug.  A kind word.

It can mean the world to someone who is suffering.

Kindness Connection

It happens every time
I experience 
Love in Action
Whether it’s
Kindness to me
From me
Or to others by others
I feel a connection
To humankind
The spirit within me
And the universe
That makes my heart smile
Fills me with gratitude
To be alive
And part of it all.
–Russ Towne

♥  Having good health, and energy and vitality.  I’m feeling so good at the moment – I’m eating really well, juicing (love it!!), and exercising.  I am just so grateful that I am able to do this.  At the moment I am training for an obstacle course/endurance event towards the end of the year. I’m competing with my 70+ year old best friend (she is AMAZING!).

Me (photo by my little man)

♥  This beautiful BEAUTIFUL piece of music.  Perhaps my favourite ever.

♥  A quiet Friday evening, sushi for dinner, a cool breeze blowing through the open window, and the sound of birds having their last flight for the day.

What are you finding happiness in today?

Blessings,

Meg

Reblogged from Gems of Delight:

• 
• 
• 
• 

I don't remember the first time I paused and softly smiled upon hearing the word, "delight."  Maybe it was when my mom said, "How about you write what's on your heart and call it 'Gems of Delight'?"  As moms usually do, she knew what was on my heart before I could consciously name it.

Delight.

"Our true nature is filled with delight…

Read more… 783 more words

Mindfulness has become a popular and fashionable word in recent times. 

The mindful workplace is gaining popularity in leadership development with forward-thinking public and private sector firms such as Transport for London, Google, Harvard Business School, Pricewaterhouse Coopers, the Home Office and Toyota.

But what is it exactly?  And how can it help your practice?

In today’s blog post we will focus on these key questions.

Our minds are our most important tool. Being emotionally intelligent and self-aware are important for so many reasons, not least because they equip you to take action.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness, quite simply, is the act of focused awareness on the flow of the present moment.

It brings out attention from the past, or the future, right here into “now”, so that we can be fully conscious of what we are doing, and what is going on around us.

How often have driven our cars somewhere, and had no memory of the drive itself?  Or walked into the shops, and then had to go back to our car to make sure we locked it (because we had no memory of doing it)?  These are examples of mindlessness.  At the time we were likely caught up in our own thoughts.  And as a result we completely missed what was happening in the moment.

It’s natural that we want to spend time thinking about past or future events.  We want to analyse the past so that we can learn from those experiences, and we want to plan for the future. 

However, as in all things, we need balance.  We have to find the “middle way”.

The Benefits of Mindfulness at work

Mindfulness can help us learn to manage our minds, to improve workplace resilience, focus and concentration, leading to improved performance and productivity. It’s like training a muscle – training attention to where you want it to be. 

With regular mindfulness you can:

• Calm your mind on demand
• Improve your concentration and creativity
• Perceive mental and emotional processes with increased clarity
• Develop optimism and resilience necessary to thrive
• Increase empathy

And how does this relate to our work?

Greater Focus

In life, and in work, one of our biggest challenges to productivity is distraction.  And not just the phone ringing, but the distractions that our minds present us with.

We may be trying to focus on one pressing task, when we remember the 12 others that are also demanding our urgent attention.

Whilst thinking about that, it occurs to us that we should really check our email.  And since we are checking our email, we might as well check our social media accounts.  And then, we may as well make that cup of coffee since we are distracted anyway.  And so goes our entire day – in a frantic whirl of doing not much at all.

With mindfulness we learn to concentrate on one task at a time with calmness and focus.

And remember:  When you’re calmly focused on a single task, your brainpower is multiplied. Whilst it may seem more productive to multi-task, in fact it often reduces our efficiency.

Build better client relationships

Notice the difference when you phone client away from your computer or any other distractions.

When your only focus is listening intently to what someone is saying, you’re likely to make them feel that the conversation is important to you.

Making a genuine connection with your clients helps you build trusted relationships – by being mindful in the way you interact with your customers will have a positive impact on your business.

Improve memory function

Next time you meet someone new – whether it’s a client, or a new business colleague – listen ‘mindfully’ when they say their name. Pay proper attention to the conversation and bring your mind back when you find it wandering. You’ll be surprised at how much you remember about that person next time you meet them and how good your overall memory becomes!

Stress Reduction

A lot of stress is brought about through worry of possible negative future scenarios.  If we were to live completely in the present we would not suffer from this stress.

Stressing about future scenarios that haven’t happened is a pointless habit; with mindfulness we can redirect these negative and worrying thoughts back to the present moment and remind ourselves that the future hasn’t happened and so far is not controlling our present circumstances.

With mindfulness we can bring our focus back to the present.  Where are we now?  What’s happening in this moment (certainly not what we are worrying about).  And it may actually never happen, and we will have wasted our time and energy, and missed out on what WAS actually happening while we were worrying about the future.

How do we practice mindfulness?

Personal productivity begins with mindfulness, and mindfulness begins with controlling our attention. Mindfulness is our most important defence against the constant onslaught of demands on our attention.

Mindfulness means to pay attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.

Mindfulness meditation

Begin your own mindfulness meditation practice.

Find a quiet place, then focus your mind on the present moment. Don’t think of other things, but sit in silence. Begin with ten minutes and meditate daily. Be aware of your thoughts, but be willing to release them and stop thinking about or focusing on them.

Mindful Hand Awareness Exercise

Grasp your hands really tight and hold for a 5 to 10 seconds, then release and pay attention to how your hands feel. Keep your attention focused on the feeling for as long as you can.

Mental Focus Exercise

Stare at any object and try to remain focused on just that object for as long as possible. Keep a mental watch on when your mind starts to wander, then just bring it back to the object. The longer you can remain focused, the more your mindfulness will increase.

Candle Staring Exercise

Stare at a candle flame for ten minutes straight while studying everything you can about it. When your mind wanders, become aware of where it’s going, then bring it back to the candle flame.

You can also practice mindfulness outside of meditation. Be aware of your body, your emotions, and what is happening at that moment. Notice sensations. Reduce distractions and busyness, and practice living in the moment.

Here is a short video on how to practice mindfulness.

******************************

Take this moment to remember that the future hasn’t happened, the past is gone and the wonderful present, is all we have and all that is guaranteed. Make sure you are part of each moment and experience the gift that is Now.

This week I am focusing on the concept of “right livelihood”.

It is an area that I am having difficulty with.  I don’t harm anybody as a result of my employment, however am I benefiting anyone?

I was listening though to an interesting talk though by Gil Fronsdal, and he explored the concept that it isn’t just what we do, but HOW we do it.

We can carry out our work in such a way that our attitude and behaviour enriches the lives of those around us – our co-workers, and those we come into contact with as a result of our work.

We can work with positivity, kindness and joy.  And with gentle calmness and a sense of personal ethics.  Our work can be full of dignity and compassion.  And we can move the people around us with a sense of contentment and piece.

Our job may not itself be beneficial, but the way that we do it enriches people’s lives.

He also asked the question, “How does my livelihood support my practice?”

I would like to pose this question as well:

“How does my practice support my livelihood?”

I – like many others – don’t have the luxury of throwing in my jobs to go on a quest for the perfect job that fits the definition of “right livelihood”.  And nor would I want to anyway.  I enjoy and value my jobs.  I design and build websites, I am a personal assistant, and I also teach (and write about) personal development.

My goal this week is to use my practice to support my livelihood.  To benefit others not through what I am doing, but how I am doing it.

To bring mindfulness and kindness to my work life as well as my personal life.

I am interested to hear your experiences.

Are you satisfied with your job?  Do you feel it contributes to society?  Have you thrown it in to pursue something more altruistic?  

Meg

Today’s post is dedicated to an AWESOME day out that my little boy and I had today.

We went to a local place in Brisbane called “Southbank”.  It’s in the middle of a city, and it has a man-made beach and lagoon, as well as fabulous eateries and shops.

We are grateful for:

♥  The bus ride in.  The ticket machine wasn’t working, so we got our ride for free .  This saved us more than $10.  We also got to have a lovely relaxed ride in – both listening to our iPod’s.

♥  Wandering around the markets where we found a stall selling chocolate filled banana’s .  I must admit banana’s aren’t my favourite fruit, but they certainly looked pretty good!  And it was so interesting to see how they made them – drilling out the centre and inserted melted chocolate.

♥  Followed by morning tea at Max Brenner’s chocolate bar.  Oh my goodness – this place is heaven on earth!!  I had a cup of tea, my little man had a hot chocolate, and a “chocolate lick”, which is basically a little pot of melted chocolate.  It was soooo good!!

♥  Watching the people in the lagoon do water aerobics.  It looked like so much fun!

♥  Watching my little man swimming and having heaps of fun.  And making new friends.  It was just so lovely and relaxing.  And I thought often how very blessed we are to have this wonderful place in the middle of the city.  And it’s completely free!

♥  The fabulous street performer we watched.  My son is usually a very serious boy, and he was entranced watching this performer.  Well actually equal parts entranced and terrified!  The performer was juggling fire, and knives, and my son was highly concerned!  All was good though

♥  The wonderful crystals I picked up today.  It was such an interesting experience.  I was immediately drawn to a carving of a dolphin in amethyst.  Amethyst is actually my birth stone, as well as being a very spiritual stone.  I picked it up, intending to hold it while I thought about it, however it grew very warm in my hand, and I knew I had to have it.  It’s just exquisite, and I’m so glad that I got it!

♥  And I am mostly grateful for the whole experience of being outdoors, in the sunshine, with lots of other people, enjoying life and our community.

Blessings,
Meg

This is my lovely doggy friend Layla

I am so incredibly grateful for the neighbourhood animal friends that we have made.  They enrich my lives in so many ways that I can’t even describe.  They bring us such delight, joy, and love.

We would be lost without them.

PS  Apologies for the shaky video.  My little boy was the cinematographer today

It’s been really fascinating reading.  I was aware of the basic aspects of Right Action – which are:

♥  abstain from killing

♥  abstain from lying

♥  abstain from stealing

♥  abstain from sexual misconduct

♥  abstain from intoxicants

I didn’t realise the broader applications of this step of the path though.

That “abstain from killing” can really be extended to “do no harm”.  Do no harm to yourself or others.  

Any physical action that hurts another person – vandalizing property, arson, intimidation, practical jokes – are all acts of harm.

The same as for “abstain from stealing”.  This applies not only to obvious acts of stealing – for example robbery – but to everything that we take that is not given.  Even so far as taking credit for someone else’s work.  Or pointing out if a store clerk has forgotten to charge you for something, or given you too much change.

For the last step “abstain from intoxicants”, we can look behind the words, and the obvious connotations - no alcohol or drugs – to the higher level of meaning we can find in these words. In what other ways do we “drug” ourselves?  Surfing the internet when we should be working, watching extreme amounts of TV, indulging in anything in large amounts (sugar, junk food etc) – are all ways of escaping.

On the opposite side “abstaining from intoxicants” means eating well, and looking after our bodies.  Which is a great coincidence for me, as I bought a juicer on the weekend, and have been enjoying experimenting with juices, and am trying hard to eat a lot healthier.

I’m looking forward to exploring this more in the coming week.

For me today, I concentrated on “do no harm”.  Whilst walking to school I was careful not to accidentally step on any snails or other insects.

Upon walking home I found a snail that had obviously been injured by someone walking before me.  I picked it up gently and put it in a safe place, hoping that it would recover.

And in another instance, I found a butterfly that had been killed and was lying on the foothpath.  I couldn’t just walk past and leave it. So I picked it up and gently carried it to a nice sheltered spot on a rock a distance along the path.

With my blessings,

Meg

“The basis of Right Action is to do everything in mindfulness.”

~  Thich Nhat Hanh

Reblogged from MINsMASH:

• 

+++

I chose this quote for today's 'Mindful Monday' because it has simple but very strong words that are great words to live by.

I'll break it down and give my thoughts on each word and how I think I'm going with some of them:

Be Kind - I think everyone could keep working on this one.  Everyone could be a little kinder. 

Read more… 894 more words

I had an interesting experience today – not so much to do with right speech however.

I spent some time with a friend of mine – and I picked up as soon as I saw her that she was not in a good place mentally or emotionally.  For a variety of reasons.  

And I’ve noticed in the past that when she is having a hard time, she is more liable to criticise me.  It is something I have struggled with over time.

During a conversation we had today she made it clear – a little harshly – that she didn’t believe something that I had said.

In the past this would have hurt me.  And I would have spent some time mulling over it.

Today though I just smiled and shrugged it off.  I knew I was telling the truth, but more than that I knew it wasn’t about me.  That she was simply projecting her own feelings of being unhappy.  And I just happened to be the person she directed it towards.

I just smiled, and inwardly wished her well, and wished her the inner peace that I know she craves.  

For me this is pretty significant progress – I’m highly sensitive by nature, and find criticism especially difficult.

I just felt a sense of peace though today – and a sense of spaciousness.  Even that event – which would normally really upset me – didn’t make a difference to my feeling of equanimity.

I’ve heard before that “storms can’t hurt the sky”, and that we should try to develop this sense of spaciousness, so that these types of events just drift across our consciousness without causing us inner harm.

I’m hopeful that the daily meditation practice I started on 1st January is making a difference.

Blessings,

Meg

I love all living things – furry things, meowy things, webbed things.  And lately – snails

I just find them fascinating – they are so majestic, and move with such slow elegance, and purpose.

We’ve had so much rain here lately, that snails are in abundance – particularly the large ones. 

Here is one I was talking to this morning:

(and please excuse my badly bitten fingernails…)

And thank you to Jonathan Hilton for inspiring me to take photos today

Meg

Ven. David Xi-Ken Astor

Speech is a process then that requires both speaking and listening simultaneously in order to express ideas, emotions, instructions, and desires.  It’s the way human’s communicate – whether it’s written speech, oral speech or signed speech.

When the Buddha spoke of “Right Speech”, he was inferring to both sides of the equation - skillful speech and skillful listening.

I have 2 days left of my study of “right speech”, so for these remaining 2 days I have decided to focus on the listening aspect.

I was lucky enough to find these great tips for skillful listening:

1. Promote an atmosphere of trust. There are many ways to establish trust, but perhaps the most effective is to be genuinely trustworthy. Many people intuitively sense an authentic personality and rarely betray that trust.

2. Shut up and listen. When we interrupt, the unwitting message we send to the speaker is: “What I have to say is more important than what you have to say.” By learning to hold our tongue and become genuinely curious about what others are saying, we greatly improve our listening skills.

3. Give up control. Many people feel that giving up control in a conversation is a sign of weakness. But the biblical injunction to “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” is excellent advice for those intent on developing good listening skills.

4. Cultivate “Beginner’s Ear.” “Beginner’s ear” is a way of paying attention to the present moment with openness and curiosity—hearing it for the first time even though we think we’ve heard it before. Neuroscientists have shown that the more we practice this technique, the better our brain gets at it.

5. Double check for meaning. It is difficult not to overlay our own biases onto what we hear. One way to counter the process is to regularly double check for accuracy by paraphrasing what we hear and the meaning we make of it. Skilled listeners endeavor to reflect back a speaker’s truth and deeper reality, not simply a version of their own.

6. Listen for differences. When we listen to others, often what we listen for are the things we understand or agree with. A skillful listener deliberately seeks out and pays attention to the way others are different.

7. Ask specific clarifying questions. Author and researcher Larry Barker said, “Words have no meaning; people have meaning.” When we engage in dialogue, we frequently speak thoughts off the top of our heads. First thoughts are like first drafts—they require a good editing to clarify meaning. Asking clarifying questions can help a speaker bring their subject into clear focus.

8. Monitor for inconsistencies. Voice, tone, and body language can contradict spoken words. Skillful listeners learn to recognize inconsistencies and get to the bottom of them in a compassionate way that does not provoke defensiveness.

9. Be mindful of age, race, and gender bias. Over 100 documented cognitive biases can color everything we see, hear, and think. Skillful listeners examine how they listen to various age groups and different races or genders, then work to correct any discrepancies accordingly.

10. Cultivate patience. Skillful listeners possess a ready willingness to suspend self-expression while they focus on others without a pressing need for them to be succinct, speedy, or clear in what they have to say.

(full article here)

I look forward to practising this more for the remainder of today, and also tomorrow.

Take care my friends,

Meg

I stopped swearing a long time ago.  Not that I ever did it a lot – only occasionally.  However whenever I did swear, it always triggered the exact same reaction – laughter.  Because everyone said it sounded so ridiculous to hear those words coming out of my mouth.

And it really didn’t suit me.

Once I became pregnant, it further reinforced my decision to refrain from swearing.

It just sounds so unpleasant – and there are so many other wonderful, beautiful, expressive words that we can use instead.  

Although I am digressing a little….

In keeping with my “week of right speech”, today I was being extra mindful of harsh speech, and for me that was negative words – both speaking out loud, and via written words.

It’s something I have been working on lately – to REALLY think about what I am saying, and whether I could rephrase it.

Today in talking to my ex-husbands girlfriend (long story), I quickly re-typed a couple of words as I wrote the email.  I was going to say that the weather lately (lots of rain) had been “frustrating”.  I deleted that out though and replaced it with “challenging”.

When talking to a friend earlier, I was going to say that I was sick of walking to and from school in the rain.  However I thought about that – and that didn’t really sum up how I felt.  So I re-phrased it to say that the novelty was wearing off.

It’s a really interesting practice – because at first you do have to consciously think about which words you choose to use.  And to change it from negative to positive (or at least neutral).  However it soon becomes natural.  And what we say influences how we feel.  If we speak in positive terms, it changes our thoughts, and our mood as well.

The process of living is such a fascinating experience when you experience it from the aspect of the eightfold path.

Today I noticed extreme tiredness and disconnection around mid morning.

It’s true that I hadn’t slept well last night (I haven’t slept well for a long time), however this was different.  It wasn’t a sleepy tired, it was more than that.

I was booked in for a work teleconference at 11am, so I made myself a cup of tea about 30 minutes beforehand in an effort to focus my mind and wake up a bit.

And it occurred to me to question – why was I so tired?

And the answer – because I was resisting.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I dislike talking on the phone.  I mean REALLY dislike.  Apart from speaking to my mother, I will avoid all other calls as a general rule.  Text – love it!  Email – definitely.  Facebook – just try to stop me.

I realised that I was unconsciously resisting having to have this work teleconference.  For no particular reason – I liked the other caller, and have had regular pleasant dealings with her (via email :p).   

However my distinct “don’t want to” undercurrent that was in the background was making me excessively tired.

So I re framed the situation.  I spent time thinking about the opportunities in the conversation.  For connectedness, for kindness, compassion, and deep listening (yes, even in a work call).

By the time she called, I was calm and ready and enthusiastic.

And the call went really well.  And afterwards I felt GREAT.  I felt happy and lighter and more cheerful.  And I realised that was because it was such a good phone call – and the positive interaction with another person had brightened my day.  

So that was where “right speech” also came into play today.  During that conversation, and also others that I had during my day.

Blessings to you all,

Meg

As I have mentioned before on this blog, he has Aspergers Syndrome, as well as an auditory processing delay, and severe anxiety. The poor kid has a lot of challenges.

One area he really shines in though is photography.  Ever since he was 3 he’s taken really wonderful photos.

He is now 7.  Today we were walking to school, and he asked if he could have my camera.  And he decided to document the whole trip to school.

His photos are below

Frangipani

Abstract

Snail

Footpath art

Sidewalk art

Pinecone

Wild Mushroom

    

As a parent, we all want to feel like our child is doing well, and we celebrate their successes.  My poor kid has had a lot of setbacks, but I am grateful beyond words that he is able to express himself via photography.

Blessings,

Meg

I really enjoyed experimenting further with this today.  I used each interaction as an opportunity to further develop my practice.

Sometimes I forgot to be mindful (and gently forgave myself).  Not that I spoke harshly, but I feel I could have made more of an effort to promote kindness.

There were occasions though that I had wonderful interactions as a result of being very mindful.

I was very aware of the intention behind my words, and also taking the opportunity to use the interaction as an opportunity for kindness.

And I felt that I had a great connection with the people that I spoke to.  One particular lady I have only briefly spoken to before at the school – however today with mindful effort we had such a great conversation!  She even put her hand on my arm several times in a gesture of friendship and connection.

I also noticed one of the teachers absent-mindedly rubbing her neck as she walked past me.  So I asked her if she was okay, and whether she had a sore neck.  She was surprised at first as she hadn’t been aware that she was doing it, but said that yes, she did have a sore neck.  And she was touched that I’d asked.

I love how the eightfold path can be incorporated in daily life.

Blessings, Meg

I would really like to explore this area further, and in more depth, and I had an idea this afternoon – I will devote one week to each step of the path.  To try to learn as much as I can, and incorporate it as much as possible into my life.

So this week is Right Speech.

I’d love to hear – have you read any books that you recommend on Skilful speech?  Or any articles or blog posts?  Or even any tricks that you use to remember to speak wisely?

Right speech is an area I am so passionate about, and interested in.

We can do both great harm and benefit with our speech.  And it’s so interesting to be mindful of what we are saying, and how we are saying it.

I think for me the greatest challenge will be no idle speech. Not so much gossip (which I don’t participate in), but more chatter with no particular purpose.  

So that will be a particular goal for me this week

Blessings to you all,

Meg

I’ll be honest – I’m probably Gil’s biggest fan .  I absolutely adore his talks, and am grateful beyond words for what I have learnt from listening to them.

I’m currently up to the 2nd in the series of talks – this one on Right Intention.  And this – along with Right Speech – are my 2 favourite areas of Buddhism.

I’m endlessly fascinated by the effects that both of these areas can have in our lives.

During this talk Gil recommended focusing on our intentions, and how we want to be in this world.  In both large and small ways.  And how we can incorporate it into every are of our lives – from what we want to achieve long term, to how we want to be when we are in the grocery store.

Since listening to this talk (several times in order to take it all in), I’ve listed the following as my deepest intentions:

♥  Parent with calmness, gentleness, softness, understanding, empathy, love and kindness.

♥  Use my free time to learn and apply the teachings of the dharma in my life.

♥  Practice kindness as a way of life.

♥  Savour life and live life slowly and with purpose.

Further to deciding our intentions – and asking ourselves not just once, but continuously  to dig deeper beneath our automatic response – Gil recommended giving our intentions great attention whilst meditating.

He gave the example of people who mentally set an “inner alarm clock” to the time they want to wake up the next day.  And the fact that without giving it thought through the night, they do wake up at exactly that time, or just before.  And I have experienced this phenomena frequently in my own life.

So last night I followed his recommendation, and whilst calm and centred during meditation, I gave my intentions great focus.  Although I let them come to me naturally without having to think about them.  And the 3 that came up last night were:

*  Follow the eightfold path.

*  Find opportunities for kindness.

*  Parent with gentleness and calm.

I found it to be a really interesting experience.  And this afternoon, for no other reason that I could explain, I felt very calm and relaxed and centred.

My son was in a really foul mood, it was pouring rain (and we have a long way to walk) yet even those things didn’t affect my feeling of calm.  And I must admit I was proud of how I managed to stay equanimous even whilst dealing with 7 year old tantrums.

And although I would not generally describe myself as a laid back parent, I was surprised with my response to the pouring rain.  At first I tried to keep my son under the umbrella, and dry, but then I stopped trying to control him, and gave him the freedom to enjoy it.  I let him run ahead in the rain, laughing and skipping and just enjoying life.  And I must admit it felt GREAT.

Even to the point where I encouraged him to take off his shoes and socks and jump in the puddles .  This had him quite intrigued – as a child with autism he doesn’t generally welcome things that are outside his usual routine.  However he loved it.  He was running home jumping in puddles and yelling that it was the best day ever.

And I just felt so calm and happy – to see him enjoying life like that.

I can’t wait to explore this area of setting intentions further.

And I’m interested to know – do you set daily intentions?  If so, what are they?

Blessings,

Meg

It’s been the most amazing journey, and I have learnt so much thanks to all of you who have commented, and shared your thoughts with me.

I am lucky enough to be able to call many of you good friends now, and for this, and how much you have all enriched my life I am incredibly grateful.

Thank you so much to each and every one of you.

As always I send my love and blessings,

Meg ♥

As I have read frequently lately – it is possible to change the pathways in your brain.

Importantly for me, I realised that the more you look for the positives, the more those pathways in your brain will be strengthened, and the more automatic it will become.

So I have spent time deliberately looking for ways to become more positive.

These are my 4 favourite daily activities for increasing positivity and happiness:

Keep a gratitude journal.  Before bedtime, make a list of the things that you are grateful for that day.  It can be in a notebook, on your computer in a word document, or even a blog.  As much as possible focus on the feeling of gratitude – and let it stay with you as long as you can.

Reach out to someone at least once a day.  Send an email expressing your gratitude or thanks.  To a friend or a co-worker, or anyone who has touched your life recently.

Practice acts of kindness.  Try to do at least one kind thing each day.  It can be as simple as making someone smile.  Or really listening to them, and giving them your full attention.  The more that you do it, the more opportunities you will find.  And the more natural it will become.

Practice mindfulness.  When we are aware of the present moment, we are able to appreciate it fully, and really notice the abundance we have in our lives.  And not only that – it has been proven that mindfulness meditation affects the brain’s plasticity, increasing grey matter in the hippo-campus  an area of the brain important for learning, memory and emotion, and reducing grey matter in the amygdala, an area of the brain associated with stress and anxiety.

I have been practising the above daily in my life for the past couple of months, and have noticed such huge differences.  Mostly in my level of happiness and satisfaction with life, and my ability to bounce back from difficulties and setbacks.

I also find meditation incredibly important in maintaining a sense of peace and calm – both of which lead to increased happiness.

Do you have any practices that you do daily to increase your happiness?  I would love to hear about them.

Generally when we think about our responsibilities as bosses and leaders, “workplace happiness” is not the first thing that springs to mind.

Supervising – yes.  Analysing, reporting, developing strategies, employee selection, growth of the company – absolutely.

However most managers would feel that people’s happiness at work does not come into the equation.  Work is tough – work is about effort and achieving goals.  Happiness is about having fun.

However this point of view can have serious drawbacks, and is a misrepresentation of what happiness is really about.

By addressing your employees’ happiness in the workplace you can help your business to survive and thrive – and give it the leading edge in retaining employees.

What is happiness about?

It’s about creating and responding to opportunities around you. 

When we feel happy, it broadens our range of responses to situations, and increases our confidence and skills.  For example – when we smile, we send out signals that we are approachable.  This leads to greater opportunities for meaningful communication and networking with others.  It builds our relationships.

Feeling happier also leads us to feeling more creative – which can have very beneficial results in the workplace. 

It also boosts workplace performance.  If you are happy, you will work harder and produce better results.

How do we make our teams and staff feel happier in the workplace?

Firstly we need to ask them!  Consider taking a survey of your staff to get a baseline of their workplace happiness and satisfaction.

Once you have those results, consider what tools you can create to support and inspire your staff.

There are many strategies you can implement – both small and large – to increase your employees happiness.

For example:

Positive feedback – all employees want to know that their efforts are being firstly noticed, and secondly being appreciated.  It doesn’t take much to give positive feedback and boost your employees’ morale.

Provide challenging – though attainable – goals.  Staff want to feel that they are contributing to the company and making a difference.  There is not much worse than stagnating in your job, and watching the minutes crawl by everyday until 5pm.

Share a laugh with your staff.  One way to really bring a team together is to share some light-hearted time together.  Laughter really is the best medicine!

Creative a positive culture.  Actively encourage your employees to share small successes and positive stories.  For example – a really great meeting with a client;  a satisfying outcome to a work issue or complaint; or even something positive that is happening in their personal lives.  Make it clear that you value hearing those experiences, and share them with your entire team.

Workplace happiness really comes down to plenty of DRAMA:

Dedication

Recognition

Appreciation

Motivation

A positive environment

Keep in mind:  happy workers stick around longer, bring more energy and enthusiasm to their tasks, and help maintain organisational morale.

Although I woke up this morning feeling a little glum.  I had high hopes for Christmas/Valentine’s Day/my birthday this year after meeting someone very special.  Heartbreakingly it didn’t work out, and I have been feeling it intensely lately.

So I woke up with that on my mind.

Although I soon – thankfully – came to my senses.  I didn’t want today to be about me – I wanted to make it a special day for those around me.  So I dedicated today as a day to perform extra  acts of kindness.

And I had so much fun doing it!!! ♥

I unfortunately didn’t get the opportunity to perform as many as I was hoping to, however I did get to:

♥  Visit my Great Uncle in the nursing home.  I gave him my full presence and attention, and listened very carefully to the stories he had to tell me.  It was really the most lovely visit I have had with him.

♥  Pay anonymously for a cup of coffee for an elderly person at a cafe.

♥  Buy lots of dog toys for my favourite doggy friend:

♥  Buy my brother a notebook I thought he would like.

♥  Buy my nephew a cute pair of pyjama’s.

♥  Strike up a conversation with a lovely lady in Target.  We spoke about our joy of doing jigsaw puzzles.

♥  Buy my son a few little presents that I thought he would like.

It was a real blessing for me to have the opportunity to perform these acts of kindness for those I love and care about – and the people in the community around me.

Blessings,

Meg

Reblogged from The Monastery Within:

• 
• 
• 

Today (3 weeks into my gratitude challenge! :D ), I am grateful for:

♥  Toast with vegemite for breakfast.  I know I should really eat something a little healthier - and generally I do - but I do adore my vegemite toast :D

♥  A surprise gift for a friend.  I left a card and a bar of lovely lavender soap at her door as a surprise.

Read more… 204 more words

This quote really spoke to me today.

Almost 3 weeks ago I started a gratitude journal.

Each day I think about, and list, all the things that I am grateful for.  It’s such a beautiful practice.  And it really is changes the way I see the world.  I find myself actively looking for things to be grateful for.

I’ve often read that gratitude is the key to finding happiness.

And I am discovering the truth of this for myself.  For if we don’t appreciate what we have, how can we ever truly be happy.  If we don’t appreciate what we have, we are always searching for something else to satisfy us.  And we are overlooking the massive blessings that are right in front of us.

I was saying as much to a friend recently.  I know that life is often difficult.  However in the end we have 2 choices.  We can focus on the negative, and dwell in misery.

Or we can focus on the positive, and find the goodness and joy in even the most everyday moments.

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.

~ Eckhart Tolle

One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen ♥

I’m so grateful for the people I have spoken to, the wonderful conversations, the books I have read, the talks I have listened to.

One today really resonated with me.  And that was about not living our lives in a trance.  

And it’s so easily done – to live in a trance.  We are busy, we are stressed, and we are largely operating on automatic pilot.

When we live this way, we are not living according to our deepest intentions and aspirations.  We are merely treading water.

Thinking of an interaction you had with someone else today.  What was the intention behind your words and behaviour?  Were you trying to gain something?  Get your point across?  Or was it mainly just automatic pilot with no purpose?

This is something I have been asking myself a lot lately at the end of the day.  Looking back over the interactions I have had with others.

And there is no right or wrong answer.  However by focusing on this question, and really questioning our interactions, we strengthen the ability to act according to our intentions.

It’s the same as looking back over our day.  Where we really present for it?  Or where we in a trance?  Just keeping our heads down and forging on?

I was reminded of this today on the walk home with my son.  It had been a busy day working at his school, and I was tired and somewhat pre-occupied.  I noticed a bicycle coming towards us from the opposite direction, and moved over on the path to give them room to pass.  And that was about as much attention as I gave the moment.  My son however was much more mindful, and asked me if I had seen the baby on the back of the bicycle (in the baby seat).  And I hadn’t at all.  It was a stark reminder to me to just stay in the present moment (and get out of my own head ).

Something else I was reminded of today was the fact that we all seem to be rushing.  I am extra guilty of this – even walking home from school, I’m walking smartly.  Like I have somewhere to be.  Where the place I need to be is right HERE.  In the moment.

We spend so much of our lives like that – in a rush.  Racing towards some imagined deadline.

And what we are doing is missing life along the way.

So my motto today is “I don’t have time to rush”.

I choose to be present for life.

“The world that we create, recreates us. And it’s a very strange existence we live in now, and we don’t realize it’s strange. We adapt to it. It lives and breathes us.”

Adam Campbell

It was triggered by a number of events.  Largely the spectacular failure of 2 relationships last year.  But also the same advice I kept hearing over and over …. that I needed “to become stronger in myself”.

This last piece of advice was repeated frequently and from different people.  And each time I would stand puzzled thinking – exactly how does one do that?  How is that defined?

However apart from uttering those words, I was not given any other instructions or tips.

I think though I have started to understand what was being said to me.

The change has come around through a couple of key changes I have made.

One is a daily meditation practice.  Since starting this on the 1st of January (yes a new years resolution), I have noticed huge changes in myself.  I am a lot calmer and less emotional.  Events that would have had me react quickly now don’t tend to ruffle me.  I am more even-tempered.

Additionally I have decided to withdraw into myself.

In the past I have always reached out to people when I have been fearful and needed comfort.

This time I have kept my own counsel.

I have meditated, I have read, I have listened to dharma talks.  

And maybe most importantly, I have started to distance myself from toxic people and relationships.

So many times the universe gives us signs, and that is what has happened to me.  I felt like the universe was telling me to limit contact with the people who were not bringing happiness into my life.

It hasn’t been easy for me, but I felt like it was something important that I needed to do.

I read somewhere that you become like the 5 people that you most spend time with.  And that really stayed with me.  I want to be happy and positive and kind.  And it made me think about the people in my life.  And what they brought in to it.

It’s been a slow process.  But I have looked closely at all my relationships.  And I have formed new ones that are based on what I would like to have in my life.  And discontinued those that were built on a foundation of stress, drama and unhappiness.

And today I did something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time – I volunteered to work at my son’s school.

It’s something only small, but it’s given me a great deal of satisfaction, and happiness and hope.

And I’m starting to feel that maybe things are starting to turn around.

2012 was not a good year, especially the last 6 months.  And at first I blamed bad luck – I have always laughed off the events in my life as my typical bad luck.

However I’ve thought about that a lot more lately.  And perhaps I’ve created that bad luck.  By the people I’ve allowed into my life.  And the behaviour I’ve been willing to accept.

I allowed myself to be treated badly, and I was.  Spectacularly so.

I feel different now though.  

Perhaps I have finally found the inner strength that everyone has urged me to find.

And now instead of looking at recent events as “good luck”, it might be more sensible to see it as laying a foundation of more positive experiences.  

Because in the end the responsibility for my own happiness lies within me.

Reblogged from Gems of Delight:

I couldn’t resist sharing this wonderful video.

What a beautiful thing to share with fellow passengers – positivity and happiness and laughter.

“Contagious laughter on a commuter train in East Anglia. One person starts laughing at something funny in his smart phone, and within minutes virtually the whole train is laughing too.”

~  Lisa, www.barefootbarn.com

I feel like the Universe is trying to tell me something this week – about the value of mindfulness , and truly experiencing and enjoying the present moment.

It started with a surprising conversation with my brother over a copy of “Zen Mind, Beginners Mind”.

And followed on with:

A beautiful experience yesterday holding an injured bird, and tenderly stroking it and whispering to it.

A wonderful recent blog post by Lisa at the The Barefoot Barn.  Her blog post touched me very deeply.  It was about finding the good in every day life.  As she said in her post:  

“This is EXACTLY when we need to PAUSE.  To stop right in that moment you feel a tightness coming across your chest.  And soften.  Looooook fooooor the gooooooood.  It’s right here.  In your everyday life.  This is where the magic is — right here in the messiness of our ordinary day.  Put down your cell phone.  Let the dinner-making be for a bit.  Pull out a popsicle if you need to!  And hold your little one – your toddler or teenager – and look at them!  Look at them with regard and love.”

And then today, listening to a dharma talk by Gil Fronsdal, and the 4 Foundations of Mindfulness.

So many wonderful reminders to just stop and notice the present moment.

To pause, and breathe and reflect.

It’s especially a great reminder for me to just slow down.  

These days society exemplifies busyness and multitasking.  The more you do, the more you achieve, the more you can juggle, the better a person you are – apparently.

I am taking a stand against this common misconception.

I am going to slow down.  

Life goes by too quickly.  My son will be a teenager before I know it.  And I don’t want to look back and regret the time I didn’t spend with him.

I’m going to enjoy the luxury of sitting and chatting to him while he has his bath.  Instead of rushing around washing the dishes and folding clothes.

I am going to pause and see – really see – the people I am speaking to.  Instead of stopping for a rushed hello as I race off to my next destination.

I’m going to allow myself the luxury of a slowly drinking my tea – savouring every mouthful.

I’m going to sit and eat my dinner without distractions – no computer, no TV.  Enjoying the tastes and textures, and the comfort in a home-cooked meal.

I’m going to accomplish less, and enjoy more.

I invite you to join me in “the elegance of slow”.

Blessings, Meg

How often though do we stop to truly appreciate and savour what we have?  And to notice and appreciate what is going on around us?

True happiness lies in appreciating and enjoying what we have, not striving for what we don’t have.

By savouring life, we are also developing healthy habits to build emotional resilience.  This resilience increases our emotional reserves and provides us with a greater ability to withstand the stressors we encounter in life.

There are so many areas of our lives where we can just savour the experience.

Next time you make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, aim to drink it with no other distractions.  Don’t drink it while you watch TV, or read a book, or surf the net (or drive your car).

Take the time to simply enjoy it.

Drink it slowly, with your eyes closed, fully appreciating the aroma and the taste .

This mindfulness can be applied to so many experiences.  Eating a piece (piece, not block!!) of very good quality chocolate.  Letting it melt in your mouth, noticing its earthiness, the richness of its texture as it melts in your mouth.

Reading a blog post, article, newspaper or book very slowly – really noticing each word.

The key is not to rush through these activities. 

So much of our life is spent multi-tasking, or working to deadline.  We are missing the simple beauty of the many every day moments in our lives.

When we can stop – really STOP -  and fully appreciate what we are doing, we can find lasting contentment and happiness.

Savour everything you do, every experience, every meal, every interaction.

Because every single moment of every single day – whether those moments are good or bad – is a gift.

Sweet are the thoughts that savour of content
~ Robert Greene

Once again I feel very privileged to be attending another one of Andy Smallman’s kindness classes – this time The Practice of Kindness.

Today I had numerous experiences to practice acts of kindness – some small, and some larger – and I am so humbled by the experience.

I have often read that what you think you become, and you draw into your life.  

And I could see that today – because I was focused on kindness, and finding opportunities to practice kindness, they just seemed to keep appearing out of nowhere.

#1 After reading the latest “assignment” from the kindness class, I was trying to think what I could do that would be meaningful. And not a few minutes later my Mum rang to say one of our relatives celebrates her 80th birthday tomorrow (which I had not realised). My Mum said she thought about sending a card, but decided it was too hard.

And I knew instantly what my kind action this week would be

However it was more than about just sending a card.

I wrote my relative a lovely long letter to go in with the card. And filled her in on all that my son and I had been up to since we saw them last (more than 12 months ago). I also included photos, and a drawing done by my son.

It was such a privilege to complete the action this week. I adored how meaningful it was to actually write a letter to her. Not many people seem to write letters any more, and I know older people especially enjoy receiving one.

#2 Removing a tree branch off the road so it wasn’t a traffic hazard.

#3 As I approached my sons school, I went to press the button to cross the road, but stopped. Instead I waited for the line of cars to go through first before pressing it so I wasn’t holding them up while I crossed.

and lastly:

#4 I saved a Rainbow Lorikeet (native Australian bird) that had been hit by a car. I ran onto the road and scooped it up. Then sat on the footpath and gently cradled it in my hands and stroked it’s head. I held it like that until it had recovered enough to fly away.

For me, all of those opportunities were such a blessing, and I feel so grateful to have had the opportunity to have done them.

Perhaps the most meaningful though for me was to help this little bird.  It was so incredibly profound to sit there on the footpath cradling it’s warm little body.  And stroking it’s head, and whispering to it that it would be okay.

I truly felt that it knew I meant it no harm.  It didn’t struggle, or try to bite me.  It just lay peacefully in my hands as I poured love into it.

And looking back on these events, nearly all involved a level of fate or “meant to be”.  

I was walking to the post box when I came across the bird, just after it had been hit by the car.  Had I left a few minutes later (as I had been intending to), it would have been hit by the next car going past (which was coming towards me as I ran onto the road to pick it up).

I’m really so moved by the events of today, and thankful to have had the opportunity to be involved.

Blessings,

Meg

Reblogged from joypassiondesire: